Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based psychotherapy modality that is centered around concepts of acceptance and non-judgment coupled with mindfulness techniques.

The general belief of ACT is that, for better or for worse, it is a part of the human condition to experience the whole array of human emotions. Now for obvious reasons we have certain preferences. We’d much rather feel joy, love or excitement because those feel good in our body. But what can unintentionally happen when we play favorites with our feelings is that this hierarchy creates judgement on our negative experiences even though they are a natural part of life.

Here’s an example:

One morning we might wake up feeling anxious, and our brain clicks into problem-solving mode—-

Why am I feeling anxious? Am I forgetting something?
I must not be prepared enough for that meeting.
Shoot, I forgot to call my friend back. Now she’s probably mad at me.
I knew I shouldn’t have missed that workout last night to grab drinks with my friend.

When we a stuck in this inner dialogue, the underlying messaging is: ‘negative feelings are bad,’ ‘I should be able to control my feelings’ and in turn ‘it’s my fault that I am feeling this way.’

Through the very nuanced work of ACT, we can learn to change our relationship with our feelings.

Instead of judging and criticizing our experience, feelings and thoughts, we will practice compassionately noticing our experience without reacting, which has been proven to decrease our suffering and, ironically, allows our feelings to pass more quickly.

The skills and mindfulness techniques we practice will teach you to connect with your values so that you are able to better cope with the stressors of life and feel empowered to make intentional desire-based choices that are aligned with the life you want to live.

After years of living with suffering and trying to fight so hard to get rid of our feelings to no avail; ACT can come as a bit of a relief as it gives us permission to be human. It encourages us to focus on learning how to accept life and it’s ups and downs. In reality, no life is perfect, and even our negative feelings hold information and purpose. We don’t have to learn to love or even like them, and we unfortunately must learn how to live with them.